Teasing people
1. What is the easiest way to throw a ball, have it stop, and completely reverse direction after traveling a short distance?
2. What is at the beginning of eternity, the end of time, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place?
3. When things go wrong, what can you always count on?
4. What is always behind you but you can never touch it?
5. I am never the first to speak but I am always the last to be heard. Who am I?
6. We were born of the same mother, on the same day, at the same hour and in the same year. Yet we are not twins. How do you explain this?
7. Two fathers and two sons were seated round a table. There were four apples on the table. Each of them took one apple and ate it entirely yet there was still one apple left on the table. How was this possible?
8. Before Mount Everest was discovered which was the highest mountain in the world?
9. Here everything is not always in order. For example, Friday comes before Thursday, the cart comes before the horse, the driver comes before the employer. Where are we?
10. When I am alive I stay put where I am. It is only when I am dead that I move about here and there. Who am I?
11. How can you be behind a person when that person is also behind you?



/-\ /\/ S \/\/ E R
1. Throw the ball straight up
2. 'e' 3. Your fingers 4. The past 5. An echo. 6. They are triplets. 7. There were only three persons at the table comprising a grandfather, his son and his grandson. 8. Mount Everest, of course. It was always there! 9. In a dictionary. 10. A leaf. 11. Put yourself back to back of each other.
source

FUNNY.........



This is life....... and People

A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, heput it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, "Free to good home.You want it, you take it." For three days, the fridge sat there without evenone person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people wereskeptical about such a good deal, so he changed the sign to read, "Fridgefor sale, $50." The next day, someone stole it.
______________________________________________________________
Lets find out A couple were returning to their seats in the dark theater. The husbandasked the fellow on the aisle, "did someone step on your foot on the way outfor intermission?"
"Yes, you did," the fellow replied, expecting an apology.
"Okay honey," the husband said. "This is our row."

______________________________________________________________- Blind Date Blind Date
Joe sets up Michael to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Michael is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Mike, "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Joe says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout Aaaaaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Mike knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awestruck at how beautiful and sexy she is.
He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts..."Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"

Some love quotes

-The greatest pleasure of life is love.William Temple

-Love is blind, and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit. --- William Shakespeare

-Love is not blind -- it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.--- Julius Gordon

-Time is too slow for those who wait,too swift for those who fear,too long for those who grieve,too short for those who rejoice,but for those who love, time is eternity.---Henry Van Dyke

-Love is a portion of the soul itself,and it is of the same nature as thecelestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise.---Victor Hugo

-Love conquers all things; let us surrender to love.Virgil

-Love does not dominate; it cultivates.As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

Keep your heart free from hate,your mind from worry.Live simply, expect little,give much, sing often,Pray always.Fill your life with love.Scatter sunshine, Forget self, think of othersDo as you would like to be done by others.These are the tried links in Contentment's Golden Chain

(i don't know where do i find this one and I don't know who is the writer)

Christmas Favorite Traditions

1. Christmas Greenery Ancient Egyptians used palm branches, while northern cultures preferred evergreens, to brighten the home during the winter. Continuing a custom that dates back to the 16th century, German immigrants were the first Americans to purchase and decorate Christmas trees, typically in the pine family.

2. Old Saint Nick Today's "jolly old elf," Santa Claus, is based on a real saint who lived in Turkey in the 4th century. Saint Nicholas was renowned for his generosity and love of children. According to historical sources, he would drop coins down the chimney to preserve his anonymity and the dignity of his recipients.

3. Gift Giving Once frowned upon as a pagan custom dating back to the Romans, gift giving is an integral part of our Christmas tradition. Santa's alias, "Kriss Kringle," means Christ child in German, and referred to a medieval legend that the infant Jesus distributed presents.

4. Mistletoe Kissing Remember the following Norse fable the next time you sneak a smooch under the mistletoe: Frigga, goddess of love and beauty, wanted to make the world safe for her son, Balder. Everything on earth promised to do him no harm except the one plant Frigga overlooked, mistletoe. Loki, an evil spirit, made an arrow from the mistletoe's wood and killed Balder. Frigga's tears became the plant's white berries and revived her son. In her gratitude, Frigga promised to kiss anyone who passed under the mistletoe, just as we do today.

5. Candy Canes The striped confections we now love to crunch were once straight white sticks of sugar candy. In the 1600s, in Cologne, Germany, traditional folktales reveal that the candies were bent at the end to remind children of a shepherd's crook and to keep them quiet in church.


http://lifestyle.msn.com/FamilyandParenting/RaisingKids/ArticleBHG.aspx?cp-documentid=105261

What Is The Definition Of .

Amnesia?...What did you just ask me?

Apathy?...I don't care.

Bigotry?...I'm not going to tell someone like you.

Egotistical?...I'm the best person to answer that question.

Evasive?...Go do your homework.

Flatulent?...That question really stinks!

Ignorance?...I don't know.

Indifference?...It doesn't matter.

Influenza?...You've got to be sick to ask me that question.

Insomnia?...I stayed awake all last night thinking of the answer.

Irreverent?...I swear to God, you ask too many questions!

Narcissism?...Before I answer, tell me, don't I look great?

Over-Protective?...I don't know if you're ready for the answer.

Paranoid?...You probably think I don't know the answer, do you?

Procrastination?...I'll tell you tomorrow.

Repetitive?...I already told you the answer once before.

Self-Centered?...Well, I know the answer, that's all that matters.

Suspicious?...Why are you asking me all these questions?

who's deaf and blind(Helen Keller)

The Meaning of Love I remember the morning that I first asked the meaning of the word, “Love". This was before I knew many words. I had found a few early violets in the garden and brought them to my teacher. She tried to kiss me; but at that me I did not like to have anyone kiss me except my mother. Miss Sullivan put her arm gently round me and spelled into my hand, “I love Helen.” What is love? I asked.
She drew me closer to her and said, “It is here,” pointing to my heart. ...Her words puzzled me very much because I did not then understand anything unless I touched it.
I smelled the violets in her hand and asked, half in words, half in signs, a question which meant, “Is love the sweetness of flowers?”
“No,” said my teacher.
Again I thought. The warm sun was shining on us.
“Is this not love?” I asked, pointing in the direction from which the heat came….
A day or two afterward…the sun had been under a cloud all day, and there had been brief showers, but suddenly the sun broke forth in all its southern splendor. Again I asked my teacher, “Is this not love?”
“Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out,” she replied. Then in simpler words than these, which at that time I could not have understood, she explained: “You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You can not touch love either; but you feel the sweetness that it pours into everything. Without love you would not be happy or want to play.”
The beautiful truth burst upon my mind -- I felt that these were invisible lines stretched between my spirit and the spirits of others.

this is helen keller's real handwriting:
short biography of her

some funny quote

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station...
what more can I say...

Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day.......... Than waking up every morning

One should love animals. They are so tasty.

before you criticize someone you should walk a mile on their shoes..that way, when you criticize them you'll be one mile ahead and you'll have their shoes

i'm not a vegetarian cause i love animals
i'm a vegetarian cause i hate plants